Jerri Phillips

I've heard this word my whole life. However, understanding it can be hard because it isn't a concept known in our culture. Yesterday I was reading in Isaiah 43, Amplified version, and I found the perfect explanation:

Fear not, for I have redeemed you
[ransomed you by paying a price instead of leaing you captive];
I have called you by your name;
you are Mine.
(Isaiah 43:1)

It was gone.


I knew it wasn't in the car or on the counter at home. I hadn't misplaced it. I hadn't overlooked it. It was gone.


Someone had stolen my wallet. My credit card, license, health card, check book...gone, and a tedious stretch of canceling everything lay ahead of me. I prayed that would be all.


I immediately went to customer service and gave my report to a manager. She explained they would talk to their security officer, run the tapes, and call me if they found anything. I called my husband, explained what happened, and asked that he come to the store.


I retrieved my children from the dressing rooms where they had been changing back into their clothes, and I went back to customer service to find out what actions were being taken.


A different manager, Harry, met me, listened to my story, explained the protocol, and went to find the security agent. While he did his part, I called my friend Debra.


"I need you to pray. Someone stole my wallet." I don't remember what she said, but it wasn't panicked. I told her, " I just keep hearing, 'Do you trust me?' And I do. I know things will be fine. I know this is a time of harvest and rejoicing. This is a time of increase, not decrease. The Lord did not promise depleted silos or stolen crops. He promised good things. This is just the enemy bluffing again, trying to be impressive, but God has the final word. The God who makes the promise, keeps the promise. I know this will be fine, but this stinks." She agreed it stinks. She also agreed this would be fine. She also agreed the God who makes the promise, keeps the promise.


Harry must have listened because he said prayer works, and God isn't intimidated. "God has done far harder things than return a wallet."


Don't I know it?


My mind thought back over my quiet time. The Lord had promised to meet Anna's clothes needs. He had said He would provide the jeans we had spent hours hunting. He promised all her needs would be met. He would not make promises of provision and then let things be stolen. It just isn't like Him.


Rob arrived and took the children to eat nearby. In the quiet waiting, I prayed.


I thanked the Lord for His faithfulness because He is always faithful. I thanked Him for Rob's calm reaction, Debra's ferocious faith, Harry's comforting presence, and I thanked Him for finding the wallet. It was a stretch, but I had two choices: believe the God who makes the promise keeps the promise or to let situations dictate my belief system. I choose to believe God can keep His promise, so I thanked Him.


Then my mind flashed to stories a friend who was a policeman told us, stories of shoplifters stealing medicine for sick babies, diapers, or formula for hungry children. Dear Lord, did this person need money to feed or care for a child? Why did they steal? Oh, God, meet their needs. Forgive them. Set them free from whatever makes them use this way to live. Lead them to you. They need you. They need you to save them and provide for them, and if there are children in need, do whatever you need to do to take care of those babies.


I stopped, surprised by own prayers, but sincere. I didn't know why these people stole. All I knew was they needed Jesus far more than I needed my wallet.


My phone rang with Debra's ring-tone. "I've been praying that whoever stole the wallet is only after cash, and they would throw the wallet away when they found no cash. Look in the trashcans and in the bathroom. Your wallet is still there, and everything is in it."


Satan talked loud and clear in my ear, "Do you know how unlikely that is? It would take a miracle. Miracles like that just don't happen."


My spirit spoke back. "But the God who makes the promise, keeps the promise."


Security came, got a list of where we had been, and went to pull the tape. I sat, waited, and wondered, How was God going to pull this off? I prayed, "Thank you for giving back my wallet intact. Thank you that this is going to be yet another testimony of your goodness and faithfulness."


Officer Coleman arrived. The report was made. We talked, and she went to see the tape. Rob and the children had returned, and Rob was going to use his credit card to pay for our merchandise. However, the whole reason we were shopping is because Anna needed jeans. Finding jeans for her is not an easy job. In fact, we both dread it, but we had actually found a pair, and despite the frustration of the wallet, we were rejoicing about the jeans. It only made sense to see if they had a few more pair to fit her, so off we went to the jeans.


Anna went ahead of us, and I tried to just relax. Then we heard Anna's voice ring out. "I found it! Mom, I found it!" Suddenly, she appeared...lime green wallet in hand. "I was praying as I came over here that God would help me find your wallet. I looked through clothes, saw a hint of green, and looked. There it was!"


I laughed and cried. The zipper was unzipped. The snap was undone. My credit card was there. My license was there. Everything was there. They had been looking for one thing--cash. They looked for the cash and then "threw it away," just like Debra prayed.


Yes, Harry, God has done far harder things than return a wallet, but today, it was miracle enough.


Then to add an exclamation mark to the whole situation, the jeans Anna found were on clearance, and we were thankful. Then the clerk rang them up-- 40 cents each. We all stared. She scanned it again. 40 cents. Three pair of new jeans $1.20.


Amazing.

But really, how could I expect anything less? After all, the God who makes the promise, keeps the promise.

Copyright Jerri Phillips 2009

I am spending my evening pondering Proverbs 31. You may wonder why I'm on the computer if I am pondering the Bible. I ponder better aloud, and while this isn't "aloud", at least this way my thoughts are not bottled up in my brain swishing back and forth and slamming into each other creating a mass of frenetic confusion.

Does that ever happen to you? Do you ever ponder until the simplicity of something becomes complex confusion which opens the door for frustration, and instead of leaving your quiet time blessed, you leave it convinced you can never be what God wants? That happens to me sometimes. In fact, it could happen this time, except I'm choosing to stop and study the mountain instead of just walking around it again.

As I see it, the mountain is this: this apparently impossibly perfect woman sits right in the middle of the Bible serving to be the bane of existence for women everywhere, but because she is a woman of excellence, a woman who draws forth blessings from others, a woman after God's heart per se, we are to be like her. In a nutshell, the mountain is our imperfection on the road to God's desired perfection.

We see her perfection and our lack thereof, and wham! An insurmountable mountain. Except, God never asks anything of us we cannot do. The one thing we could not do--be perfect enough to save ourselves--He made provision for. He's no dummy. If we are smart enough to know we can't be that perfect, so is He, and therefore, He had to have made provision for us to become this woman of biblical note. Either that, or we really don't understand the perfection He sees in her.

Honestly, I think it is both.

I am convinced no human being could accomplish all this woman does on her (or his, for that matter) own. No one could be that diverse, that sure of herself, that organized, that upbeat, that...everything in her humanness. A few weeks ago I posted on her core identity and where she gained wisdom, insight, and strategy.

It's more than that, though. It's not just that she knows how to do her to do list. I think it has to do with her understanding God's to do list. Jesus only gave us two "to do's"--Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength and love your neighbor as yourself.

So this is what I am pondering: how does one exchange a "to do" list for a "to love" life?

I confess I am not really sure, but when I look at the mountain of perfection through the lens of a "to love life", suddenly it doesn't look like an impossible feat of my climbing a sheer face all by myself, knowing I'm going to fall and look stupid multiple times. Instead, it looks like an exciting adventure filled with laughter, fun, and amazing memories, and I can't help but think others will look at it and realize it is the exact adventure they've been seeking, too.

Lord, I come to the cross and ask you to kill all preconceived ideas I have about being a perfect woman. I ask you to crucify all misconceptions about serving you and what you find important and valuable. I take up my cross--the cross that says I'm worth dying for and so are the ones around me. I take up my identity as desired, loved, totally forgiven, totally free, and totally yours. I ask you to crucify my "to do list" mentality and transform my mind to a "to love" life. Love through me. Bring life to others by loving them through me. Bring life to me by correcting me when I do not receive your love either from you directly or via blessings of others. Father, your Word says you are love. I choose to crucify a spotless house, empty sink, immaculate nails, performance in every way to please others. I choose to crucify all forms of activities that are born of fear of rejection and not out of love. I choose to crucify the lie-Jerri that thinks there is an absolute right and absolute wrong, the lie-Jerri that thinks things have to be a specific way or they are not acceptable. I choose to take up the Jerri loved as she is, the one you delight in, the one who knows people are more important than clean floors and hearts are more important than dusted shelves. I choose to put on the Jerri that is willing to take detours and side roads of all kinds to show love to people--including the ones in my own home--that you want to love and value. Father, I don't really understand the "to love" life, but I want to. I want to live it with abandon to everything else. And, Lord, if people don't understand, I'll know I'm in good company. Explode forth the "to love" life in me that you want me to live, that you want to live in and through me. I'm ready. I love you. Amen.

Copyright Jerri Phillips 2009

Yesterday I told you we made pumpkin bread and pumpkin creame cheese to begin our feast. I want to share these recipes with you. The pumpkin bread recipe came from Allrecipes.com, and I am unsure about the origin of the other recipe. I hope you enjoy.

Blessings and celebration for you and your family!

Downeast Maine Pumpkin Bread
Submitted by: Laurie Bennett
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 50 Minutes
Yields: 24 Servings

Ingredients:
1 (15 oz) can pumpkin puree
4 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup water
3 cups white sugar
3 ½ cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 ½ teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
½ teaspoon ground clobes
¼ teaspoon ground ginger

Directions:
1. Preheat over to 350 degrees. Grease and flour three 7x3 inch loaf pans.
2. In a large bowl, mix together pumpkin puree, eggs, oil, water, and sugar until well-blended.
3. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and ginger.
4. Stir the dry ingredients into the pumpkin mixture until just blended.
5. Pour into the prepared pans.
6. Bake for about 50 minutes in the preheated oven. Loaves are done when toothpick insterted in center comes out clean.

Pumpkin Cream Cheese

Ingredients:
2 8-ounce packages cream cheese, softened
1 cup canned pumpkin
1/3 cup sugar
1 ½ teaspoons pumpkin pie spce
1 teaspoon vanilla
Freshly grated nutmeg (optional)

Directions:
1. In a large mixing bowl beat cream cheese, pumpkin, sugar, pumpkin pie spiece, and vanilla with an electric mixer until smooth. Transfer to a bowl. Store tightly covered in the refrigerator for up to 1 week.
2. If desired, sprinkle with a little freshly grated nutmeg before giving as a gift. Makes about 3 cups spread.

As some of you know, last October started an incredibly hard season for us. In the last year, I have had to stand with greater determination than I ever have. I've had to resolve to believe God's promises despite situations which presented extreme evidence to the contrary. I have had to be more real and more vulnerable than I ever dreamed necessary. I've hurt more deeply than I ever knew I could, and I have faced fears that I thought would bury me.

I have also seen God work in ways beyond my wildest imagination. I have been loved more deeply and been embraced more wholly than I ever dreamed. I have danced more wildly and with more passion and abandon than I ever imagined was within me, and I have stood up to fears, attacks, and doubts and been victorious in overcoming them. I have found depth of friendship that I thought was a fairytale, and I have come to know a God who is hilariously generous with all He gives, whose heart is to protect and shepherd, whose power is greater than all my foes, and whose love and passion for me is beyond my wildest imagination.

Even as I type this, my eyes fill with tears of amazement. It's more than gratitude, although I am grateful beyond words. It's an absolute amazement at finding more than a mighty God or a saving God. It's the wonder of intimately experiencing a God whose greatest desire is me. It is beyond anything human words could express when I gaze upon a God who can create a universe in six days and so clearly see His complete devotion to me. He waits for me to wake up in the morning. He whispers to me in my sleep, and He lavishes good things on me, and I am sure there is more He wants to give, but I have been too "humble"--faithfulness, insecure, doubting--to receive it.

I am undone.

It is with such absolute amazement that I approach the fall season of harvest and a time that in the past was so marked by pain and darkness.

In September, during my prayer time, the Lord spoke to me about October. For years October has been a month of dread for me. All the demonic freedom really is hard for me and has been difficult for my children. Two years ago, things started to change, and the Lord began to redeem October. This year He gave me a new word. He said, "October will be a time of harvest and rejoicing." I had to tell my friend Debra, who was just excited as I was, and we started practicing our happy dance.

A week or so after the Lord spoke to me, He spoke a powerful word to Debra and her husband Brian. He said they were to go on vacation, and it was specifically to be during Sukkot, the Feast of Tabernacles. He gave them a solid word about what He is doing in their lives and how it started with the beginning of Sukkot. Neither of us knew anything about Sukkot, but we quickly found out.

While that was happening at their house, the Lord was settling some issues at our house. In short, I really felt Rob, my husband, was to go to the men's retreat with our church. It wasn't on the calendar, but the more I prayed, the more I was convinced he was supposed to go. The Lord said clearly it would be a time for restoration of identities for the men who attended. My heart pounded. I knew Rob was supposed to go. Ultimately, he did, too, and he is going.

When Debra and I researched Sukkot, we laughed, cried, and shouted. Sukkot is the Feast of Tabernacles (or tents), the time to celebrate leaving Egypt and bondage (the place God finds all of us in our sin or oppression) and going into the Promised Land (their true identity). And, the first day of Sukkot happened to be the first day Brian and Rob will be at the men's retreat--the one where true identities will be restored!

Needless to say, we were ecstatic. Then we had another laugh. Debra and Brian had been planning this trip for months, but due to job transition, they were unsure about money, which God provided in an amazing way. The trip? Camping...in tents. God had already put it on their hearts to celebrate the transition from Egypt to the Promised Land, and they didn't even know what it meant.

I was laughing, too, because I had decided since Rob would be gone, I'd pack the children up, and we'd go camping. Instead of fighting the popup, I'd use a tent, too. We have several tents, so that would be no problem, except I felt we were to have a tent with two criteria--room and an open top so we could see the heavens. In my human mind, though, could I justify another tent, especially when we always use our popup camper? I wrestled with it, talked to Rob, and ultimately, went tent shopping, so we could camp...the first day of Sukkot.

I did preliminary shopping online. Nothing struck me. Last night we spent a lot of time driving from store to store. Nothing overwhelmed me. Well, one thing did. However, at $120 it was well out of our price range, the amount I felt the Lord okayed for us to spend. So we ended up coming home empty-handed. Still, Sukkot was less than 48 hours away, and despite my mind's efforts to justify and compromise, my spirit knew we were supposed to get a tent. I did all I knew to do. I prayed.

"Father, if you want us to have a tent, you'll provide. I know the number you gave me ($50), and I don't have peace to spend more. However, I don't know where else to look. I need your direction. Your Word says the steps of a righteous man are ordered by you. Guide our steps."

I finished praying, and honestly, I was expecting a store to come to mind. Instead, "Craigslist," hit like a billboard on the front of my skull. I typed it in. Then I typed "tent". I stared.

"Magellan Bryce Canyon Tent....$50." And, it was not in the general DFW Metroplex. It was in our city.

I prayed. Could this really be God? Could He really be telling us to buy another tent?

I emailed a reply saying we were interested and told when we could be there to pick it up. Then I waited...

However, I didn't wait idly. I waited with a feast of celebration, a feast declaring we believe this is a month of harvest and rejoicing. We started the celebration with a feast of pumpkin bread.



The entire family got involved with the mixing, baking, cleaning, and eating. Delicious! We also made some pumpkin cream cheese. The children love it, but it is a bit too sweet for Rob and me. Still, the most fun is the fact the recipe made enough for our family and some to share. Isn't that the great thing about harvest? It keeps right on giving?

Due to unexpected rain, our plans changed, and with them, the time we could pick up the tent changed, so I emailed again. No reply, but the listing was still up. Ultimately, though, I simply had to let it go. If it was of God, it would work out. If not, He would do something else.

Then this afternoon a reply. "I'll be home then. I live at....You can call me at...." I started to laugh, and tears filled my eyes. He lived around the corner from us. Seriously. Within ten minutes we had a verbal agreement for the tent. Within 20 minutes, it was in my van on the way to my house.

The entire top is open to the heavens, and it can be split into three rooms. The center height is 84 inches. It is huge for a tent. And, while we were there, he showed us how to put it up and gave far better direction than the instruction paper. Don't you love when God goes above and beyond your imagination?!



Such is the first day of October--our month of harvest, rejoicing, restoration of true identity. It is our celebrating moving from the heartbreak of slavery--mental, spiritual, and emotional--to the joy of the Promised Land. It is a festival and a feast, and we are joyously well-fed feasting on His goodness.

Do you ever go to a family reunion or a potluck, and there is so much good stuff that you pick up a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Don't forget the mashed potatoes Aunt Betsy made that you have to eat so you don't offend her. Oh! There are those barbecue ribs Uncle Ralph says are the best ever. Have to have some of that. Then there is that chocolate pudding mousse thing that Sheryl only makes on special occasions. Can't pass that up. Who knows when you'll get a chance at that again?

By the time you finish adding all you want, all others say you should get, and all you get so no one is offended, your plate is overflowing, and the excitement you felt with your first glance has turned into a sense of dread as you look forward to the bloated stomach, tight belt, and indigestion later?

Crazy, isn't it?

The craziest part is the gratitude at the beginning of the meal has now because complaint. The food God gave to bless us is now seen as a curse. Why? Because we didn't know when to say when.

Today, my plate is full of blessings, but I feel the pull of temptation to load up a bit more. If I scoot this over and move this around, I can find room. It's all good. And, after all, what can a little bit more hurt, right?

Let's look at that "little bit more" that causes my head to turn and see what it can hurt.

My "little bit more" looks like a fiction book that I've had rolling around in my head for nearly two years. I worked on it a lot in 2008, but in 2009, it has gone by the way side. The fact is I haven't missed it much. I think of it periodically, but mostly, I'm busy with other things that I enjoy. In fact, I am completely happy without it until I see it on someone else's plate.

My friend Lisa Buffaloe shared the exciting news that her fiction book is headed to the publisher. I am truly thrilled. This is a book from God, and it is going to bless so many. My friend Amelia is moving forward with her book, and she has some interested eyes ogling it as well. I just finished reading Ruby's Slippers by Leanna Ellis, another friend. Understand. This is not about jealousy. These women are so gifted, and I rejoice that the Lord is blessing them and increasing them. It's just...I really like writing fiction, too.

Surely I could find time to work on a fiction book. Surely it couldn't be that hard to find the time, right?

Let's see. If I give up my Wednesday night fellowship time, that would buy me a few hours. If I gave up reading time with the children, I could get another 20-30 minutes a day. If I got up earlier, I could move my quiet time back. Probably won't remember it, but at least I'm doing it which means something will "stick in my spirit", so that's alright. Maybe instead of spending an hour and a half with my husband in the evenings I could only spend an hour. Wonder if I can figure out a way to spend less time on the co-op classes I teach, or maybe I could have the children do more workbook school and few projects and discussions for home school? Or, I could just give up cooking which would mean I didn't have to waste time doing dishes or going grocery shopping, and if I wear the same clothes three days in a row, that would cut down on the laundry, and if I...

...just lose my mind and don't care if I drive my family insane while cutting all my life lines to my support group...

It sounds absurd when I write it out, and most of us probably laughed at the craziness of it. However, every woman I know has had moments when she was tempted to add one more thing to an already full plate, and there is always the whisper, "What can it hurt?"

In Proverbs 31, we are told the woman of immeasurable value "considers a [new] field before she buys or accepts it [expanding prudently and not courting neglect of her present duties by assuming other duties]; with her savings [of time and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her vineyard (v 16, AMP)."

I love this. This woman of immeasurable considers the opportunity laid before her. Notice what she considers. She considers her present responsibilities. She thinks about what God expects of her in the season and place she is in. She does not think about whether someone will be mad or offended if she does not embrace this opportunity. She does not think about whether someone else thinks it is good or not. She does not fear that this may be her only chance at this field. Instead, she knows the Lord gives her what she needs in every season, including fields to tend for the purpose of yielding glorious fruit for Him and because of Him.

Because she doesn't embrace anything that isn't hers, she has time and energy to plant fruitful vines. These are not vines that will wither or languish because this valuable woman is spread too thin to tend them the way they need. No. This valuable woman knows her time and investments are valuable, so she only accepts what she knows she can tend well. Her vineyard will not be a straggly one, but one where the plants flourish, the fruit is evident, and the keeper is content. She will be known as one who is blessed.

Why?

Because she knew when to say when.

Copyright Jerri Phillips 2009