Saturday, March 1, 2008

Weighed Down

Wendy commented on my post Update and Being Thankful for Nothing. I responded at length on her blog, but some of the things I wrote to her are pertinent to anyone. Knowing several folks do not view comments, I chose to post part of the response here because I feel aspects of what was said are too important to be lost in "Comment Land".

May the Lord speak to you according to your need.

Beautiful Wendy, I understand the battle of looking in the mirror and seeing someone that looks so different on the outside than I think she is on the inside. I will be praying for you. My email is listed on my profile.

Beautiful Wendy, I have known others who have had lapband and used other methods of controlling weight or slimming down. I don't judge them. I used to, but not anymore. I don't know their hearts. I don't know their struggles.

My only suggestion is before you do anything, go before the Lord and ask Him a few heart questions. I have yet to know anyone with a weight problem who did not have heart issues, including myself.

Ask the Lord:
1. What hurts me that food makes me feel better?

2. What hole does food fill? Sometimes we are just bored, so we eat when we should be out living and embracing life more.

3. Is the way I look a safe place for me? Is my size a way of keeping people distant from me for any reason at all?

4. Are there any generational curses or even word curses that are active in my life?

I found some of those answers to be hard, and I found some of them opened wounds I would have rather ignored, BUT in addressing them, I found healing. It didn't solve all the weight issues because I am still learning to live differently and break habits, BUT I did feel like I had power again where before I felt hopeless and helpless. In my opinion, whenever there is a sense of hopelessness or helplessness, there is always some form of demonic oppression. I have yet to see where being hopeless or helpless is in alignment with active abiding in God or in line with the Holy Spirit's work. It is a point of war, and it takes vigilance to keep that ground. Having someone to stand with you is invaluable. They can't stand for you, but they can sure help keep you standing when you get tired or lose focus.

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For those who are battling their weight because they are weighed down, my heart and prayers go out to you.

Holy Spirit, be free to show the real issues and remove all the weight from the hearts and bodies of these beautiful people as they seek the healing heart of God whose love offers freedom from undue burden. Open their eyes so they can see themselves as the Lord does and love themselves joyfully with laughter and lightheartedness. Glory be to you, Father, for the masterpieces of your hand.

2 comments:

Wendy said...

Jerri,
Thank you so much for listening and responding. I long for someone to stand with me. I hurt so much most of the time and I dont know how to handle the pain so I hide it. I shy away from people because I don't want them to see the real me. I am afraid of the rejection that has happened all to often in my life and I struggle with being authentic and real even with my christian friends. I know that there are deeper issues out there and that mine are so minor that I hate to bother anyone with them. Your site has somehow touched a cord though and my heart is breaking. I know that there is alot of work that needs to be done in me and I "hide" from my savior the only one that can heal me. I am afraid of losing the little control (lol) that I have.
Today as I am getting ready to go into the Lords house I litterally hate myself. I hate the way I look and feel. Some where along the line I lost me and I am scared to go back through all that yuck and find out who I really am. The past has not been kind, yet I know in my head that God has a purpose and a plan for me and the trials that I have been through. I have the head knowlege but am lacking in the heart knowlege.

Thank you for your prayers and support and for pointing me back to the cross. The cross that I am afraid to seek because I don't always beleive that Christ wants me. I have the image of a dirty little girl standing on the outside looking in to see the Savior and cowering behind the door because of my filthy rags and the sin and shame in my life. I have tried to oppen that door with little success at this point. PLEASE LORD HELP ME! I want to be whole and clean! I long to be loved by you and held in your arms. I want to see myself as you see me. Please show me the way!

Wendy said...

Jerri,
I do not know if you receive my first response. I pray that you did as I think I lost all of those thoughts and I wanted to post them on my site as well.

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