Jerri Phillips

I find myself fighting within my mind because an event I did not want has occurred. On one hand, I hate it and wish it had never happened. On the other, my faith leads me to ask with expectation, "What next?"

It is the end of so many things, and yet, I embrace it because I know there is a bigger picture, and nothing ends that the Lord does not bring something new and good out of it.

And in the midst of sadness and questions of today I find joy knowing that this is a step toward tomorrow when more of the grander scheme will be revealed.

It is within this paradox that I find the ability to laugh through my tears because I trust in the greatest paradox of all--my God.

Only God would let one man die so others could live.

Only God would say if you want me to think highly of you, think more highly of others.

Only God would say to have it all I should give it all away.

Only God would love me so much that He refused to let me remain who I was.

Only God would command us to worship Him by resting in Him.

Only God would offer a priceless gift of grace for free.

And only God has the power to redeem horrific wrongs by using them to make things right.

And only God can tell promise to make sense of all this seeming insanity and me believe Him.

And I do.

Wondrously, that too is part of that paradox.